By Eline Kullock
Although it’s uncommon for a Baby Boomer, I consider myself to be a heavy social media user. This makes it possible for me to observe how young people are using online tools. I see a lot of young people joining online groups, focused around really strange themes, to say the least.
I spoke to this exact matter in the Sao Paulo newspaper Estadão last Sunday. To not give into to total vulgarity, I’ll refrain from citing the name of some groups that currently exist on Orkut (Brazil’s most popular social network).
However, I can mention same groups like “I hate admitting I’m wrong,” “I love lying,” “I hate studying,” “I’ve been to work drunk,” “Why the hell do I need to learn this?” or “I hate waiting.” Not to mention the really well-known Orkut groups like: “I hate Mondays,” “I hate my boss” and “I hate my job.”
If an HR manager finds a potential job candidate belonging to these groups, the candidate definitely won’t be called in for an interview. One could question if it’s fair that the candidate will miss out on the opportunity, solely due to his or her social network group affiliation. I would argue that the candidate obviously doesn’t seem mature enough to be part of a business organization.
Upon entering a business, wouldn’t it be better to leave the raging adolescent behavior behind? Moving towards the corporate world, means the image you portray of yourself, means a whole lot. How do you reach the minimal level of maturity necessary to interact in the professional world?
First off, I believe it’s important to remember that some of these young people on Orkut or Facebook have never worked before. I get the sense that for that exact reason, they don’t really know what posture they should adopt.
In the past, societies used “rites of passage” to explicitly mark transitions in behavior and posture, as in the case of a teenager becoming an adult. We still maintain some of these rites of passage today. When we graduate for instance, there’s the long, boring, graduation ceremony. However, what seems to count today, are the graduation parties and the celebrations, more than the actual ceremony.
The graduate receives that rolled-up piece of paper, telling him or her, “to go be an adult.”
Most young graduates find this ceremony rather painful and senseless. Yet, this is one of the rites of passage we’ve conserved throughout the years.
Back in the day, children wore short pants. They weren’t shorts or even bermudas, but pants that were purposely too short. My husband was born in Além Paraíba, Minas Gerais, and he hated wearing those pants. He considered long pants to be a man’s thing.
When his mother let him wear long pants for the first time, he felt immense manly pride. His mother even affirmed that only children wore short pants.
Of course, in the Jewish religion there’s the Bar-mitvah. When a young boy turns 13, there’s an elaborate ceremony that marks this moment. What this really signifies is that the young man is able to read the Torah. However, it’s important to remember that this rite of passage, dates back to a time when life expectancy was much shorter.
Marriage was also a rite of passage. It wasn’t just a big party. Mothers and fathers cried so much, because their “baby” was going to make their own home. In truth, the rite of passage is for the whole family. For parents, it’s the moment that they realize that their children aren’t theirs forever. They belong to the world, and it’s for the world that we raise them.
Even in Indian Tribes (the Ianomanis for example) there was a rite of passage that takes place when menstruation began. The young woman stayed in recluse until the next moon appeared, which signified that she was ready to be married.
All cultures mark rites of passage with celebrations, and every religion has its own rites. Wikipedia defines the rite of passage as “…a ritual that marks a change in a person’s social status.” Rites occur within the bosom of the community and may have religious aspects or simply mark a distinct separation for the individual.
In today’s world, rites have lost their primary significance. They’ve become merely social events. Yet, rites are important! They solidify values and principals in society. They contribute to the sense of “belonging” in the community. Of course, this also strengthens the individual identity within the community.
What does all this have to do with young people joining virtual groups? Young people aren’t going through the whole “short” and “full length” pants thing. In this society, one begins working or interning without a rite of passage, to mark this important transition to adulthood. Perhaps this is why there’s still a great mix up between adolescence and adulthood.
I believe that as parents and educators, our role is to value these crucial moments of passage, not as a big party, but with the seriousness it entitles. If we don’t do it, businesses will have to do it.
It’s much easier when there’s a great number of candidates to fill a single position, to admit people who have already “lived this passage’” and seem adult-like in their attitudes. Those who continue to live like adolescents will have a tougher time achieving their goals in the business world.
